Thursday, December 16, 2010

Should I choose the smoothest course, steady as a beating drum?

After three and a half years of college, I am finally finished. For now.

During this time, I garnered a lot of knowledge and had many new experiences.
  • I learned that real friends do not "use" each other; that is, friendship is not defined by a mutual and consensual exploitation of each other. Also, real friendships are not one sided.
  • I started this blog.
  • I went from being a philosophy major to an English major to a psychology major within the span of 3 1/2 years...and I went to 3 different schools.
  • I read my first Tolstoy novel.
  • I realized that I would be a terrible therapist.
  • I realized the majority of flirting is meaningless. 
  • I understand and accept that people, if they are listening, are only semi-listening. It's not always that people are thinking what they're going to say next; it's more of a constant self-involvement that impedes them from absorbing what another is saying.
  • My roommate told me she views me as a gypsy. I was taken aback when she said that. She's right.
  • I discovered a love for electronic/dance music and folk music.
  • I've always liked to dance, but now I love to dance (love as in want-to-do-it-all-the-time dance).
  • I regained old friendships.
  • I sang karaoke for the first time. Next time, I think I'll sing Unbreak My Heart by Toni Braxton for it's dramatic value.
  • I found faith, and I do not regret the obscene amount of trouble it took to reach it.
  • Apparently, I learned how to think critically in college, because I didn't know how to before. (Thank you, professors, for demeaning all the students in that domain.)
  • I learned how not to act in a relationship.
  • I went to an underwear party at a gay bar avec ma soeur. It was an... experience.
Exhibit A (this is how pounds of makeup look on my face):

Exhibit B:

  • I learned that, in general, people equate honesty with maliciousness.
  • I know I am not an object. And, as we all know, knowing is not the same as believing.
  • I learned that guilt and shame are not synonymous. Guilt is "I feel bad for behaving a certain way," while shame is "I am bad. I am worthless."
  • Men in the "grown-up" world apparently hand out their business cards as a way to hit on women, instead of some college-male version of "you're hot."
  • My source of inspiration comes and goes as it pleases. (and if I were any good at descriptive writing, I would insert an awesome metaphor that includes something about the wind, the tides of the ocean, etc.)

Random goals for a random future:
  • I will never let anyone deter me from my love of fashion. And I'm going to stop justifying myself about how a collection of expensive, beautiful shoes is not materialistic and empty.
  • I will read EVERYTHING EVER WRITTEN while I'm not in school.
  • I will not spend money frivolously.
  • I will treat myself with respect. I will treat others with respect.
  • I will continue to not be bubble-gum sweet. Sorry, boys, if you're looking for sugar, go somewhere else.
  • I will live in New York for some amount of time.
  • I will travel all over Europe.
  • I will not settle for anything less than what I want (i.e. I will not allow myself to get stuck).
  • No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world.

And to remind myself that people are different, but that we are all connected — Pocahontas!

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