Thursday, April 28, 2011

Sexy time at the beach!

A lot of fashion editorials that come out in the spring and summer are located at the beach. Most often, they are "sexy" shoots, usually involving sand, water, and nudity. But do I have to be sexy at the beach? Why do I have to waltz around naked or — if not naked — with half a boob poking out (e.g. here - and that's NSFW, by the way)? I mean, I wouldn't necessarily mind if I were at a nude beach. But why is it desirable? Oh yeah, 'cause nudity is always desirable!

I've decided - from this point on, I'm never wearing clothes again. Bye bye clothes, hello naked body! Hello jail time!

And here is a tribute to all the annoyingly confusing sexy-beach editorials in fashion mags (who are mostly read by whom? That's right, women and gay men! I suppose we do want to look better than every other woman when we're in a swimsuit, so maybe sexy-beach editorials give us inspiration to somehow become super sexified. But that's not at all a solid theory.)

 So, now we know exactly how we should look at the beach. All we need is a skinny yet toned body, bedroom eyes, sand all over our skin (preferably because we've just had a romp in the sand), water around us, and voilá, we are hot, desirable, skinny bitches.

Seriously, though, there are some wonderful beach editorials out there. They're not all like this, thank the Ten Commandments.

This photo appears more sexy and alluring to me than the others. I want this dress; I do not want those swimsuits.

And I must admit, I am the girl who has to have a new swimsuit every summer, mostly because my friends can't see me in the same swimsuit that I wore last summer! That would simply be a catastrophe!

(all photos via fashinogonerogue)


Lydia said...

Well, this DOES make me want to be tan and skinny and at the beach.

I can't wait for beach trips!! Bathing suits are my favorite clothes. I spend many a day off in warm weather in nothing but a bikini.

sojourned in style said...

most swimsuit editorails just make me check my calories twice (but still eat it anyway ;) and sulk in my own fat for a bit, before I let it go. the last one I find more appealing because overt sexiness is not always the way to go.