Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Firstly, I love the lyrics of this song. It reminds me of how I felt in high school: cynical.

Secondly, I'd like to address one of my questions in my previous post. Flirting.

Flirting has always kind of confused me, and that's usually due to the fact that I have no idea what flirting means. Because it's so dependent on the situation, I find the whole act of flirting to be annoying (even though I still do it and I'm still occasionally on the receiving end of it).

Here are the scenarios where I generally experience flirting (that is, when I do it, and when I am the recipient of it):

1) At a bar. Sometimes guys are very direct at bars, and sometimes they're totally skittish. I remember one time I was at a college bar with some friends, and this guy who'd been blatantly staring came up and told me, "You're fucking gorgeous!" I was put off by the adjective...what's wrong with just saying a woman is gorgeous? Anyway, after he says that and I thank him, he asks me for my phone number. I decline, thinking "what the hell? why don't you buy me a drink first and then maybe I'll give you my number." He went away after my resolute "no."

2) Drunken escapades - not necessarily at a bar. The really drunken flirting is the most confusing. Is it only due to the lowered inhibitions? Is it "hey, I think you're pretty/funny/intelligent/something interesting"? Is it "I'm lonely, and you're alright, let me touch you. I need physical contact"? Is it "I like this other girl in the room, so I'm going to try to make her jealous by paying attention to you instead"?

Yes, I've thought a lot about these drunken scenarios.

3) Male-friends who are currently the platonic type but have the possibility of being something more. In these situations, I've noticed it really depends on the man and how he is with women in general. As we all know, some people flirt like it's their job. Anyway, flirting still happens with the platonic friendships, but in my experience, it's usually not the touchy-feely kind; it's more of a joke-around-make-fun-of-you kind of thing.

Woooow. Okay. Now that I've got that out of the way, I still don't know what flirting is and what it means. Clearly I take it too seriously. Honestly, if a man has only platonic feelings for me, I'd prefer absolutely no flirting. When I flirt, ninety-nine percent of the time it means I have some sort of interest in the guy. Of course, not everyone acts like me, so I'm kind of coming to the conclusion that flirting is like a sport; can I get you to like me or not? Will I win in this battle of vanity and egocentricity?

And I just thought of something. Let's say I'm talking to Man Z, we strike up a conversation, blah blah, blatant flirting. Maybe the only reason we're flirting is to validate the others' intrinsic value. Surely we're more secure in ourselves than to resort to flirting as a means to feel worthy. I hope so, at least.

But, you tell me. What do you consider to be flirting, and what does it mean?

1 comment:

Lydia said...

Well flirting could be anything, but sometimes it isn't what you say, but how you say it, body language, eye contact, all sorts of stuff. I mostly avoid flirting in general. One, I'm in a relationship. Two, even when I'm single attention from males makes me uncomfortable. If I'm drunk, or in a really social setting (so probably drunk), I'm more comfortable with it, especially if I'm actually attracted to the guy, but mostly not. I have a, I guess you could say, very sexual body, meaning my boobs are big and my butt is big and my hips are big, and men stare at me all day, so I'm used to feeling sort of visually violated, and I'm used to turning away from men and avoiding talking to them.

I guess I think most men are sort of gross and would rather not engage in flirting. This may make me a bit, I don't know, uptight?